David Blaine’s Friday Musing…

New Year’s Resolutions for California Employers!

Every January, New Year’s resolutions are made, and quickly broken.  Below are the most common resolutions, with my own twist for employers.

  1. Lose Weight. Get rid of your lowest-performing, most frustrating employee.
  2. Eat Healthier. I recommend Grape Nuts and Shredded Wheat (or you can substitute with gravel and hay)
  3. Exercise…your right to be in charge. Stop letting employee tail wag owner dog.
  4. Quit Smoking. You can still fire.
  5. Quit Drinking. Before noon.
  6. Save Money. Move your business out of California.
  7. Spend more time with family. Unless they work for you. If so, spend less time with family.
  8. Manage stress better. Manage everyone better.
  9. Stop Procrastinating. Get those 2015 performance evaluations done by June.
  10. Improve a relationship. See #1, above
  11. Learn a new language. I recommend Millennialish
  12. Get more sleep. Have blinds and a lock installed on your office door.
  13. Spend less time on Facebook. Unless you’re tracking the Facebook use of everyone else in the office.
  14. Run a half or full marathon. Or, just personally handle open enrollment, the result on your body is the same!
  15. Do something for charity. Give yourself a bonus.