Kern County, Nevada. I like the sound of that!

Kern County, Nevada. I like the sound of that!

A ballot initiative to divide California into three states was just rejected by the California Supreme Court. South California would have included the Central Valley and every desert they could squeeze into it. Its citizens would be referred to as Hard Workians.  “North California”  would get all the cool, non-beach cities and it citizens would be referred to as Clueless Eliteians. “California” would be a long skinny State comprised of all the beachfront property and its citizens would be known as Rich Retireeians.  But starting new States is expensive.  First, you have to elect a new crop of legislators to do nothing and figure out how to pay them.  Then you have to approve a flurry of bond measures to make sure the State starts out in debt to justify the increase in taxes.  I have a better idea.  South California should just join Nevada. There are a lot of compelling reasons:

  • If you gave the average non-Nevadan 1000 guesses they wouldn’t be able to name Nevada’s governor. I’m not sure Nevada even has a government and it seems to do fine.
  • We could transport a bunch of fruit from Reno to Bakersfield without having to stop at the silly fruit inspection site, even though  I’m not sure Nevada even grows any fruit.
  • Nevada could charge the Californias for all their bad air that comes down the Valley.
  • Things that happen in Nevada would truly stay in Nevada!
  • No State income tax!
  • Cheaper gas and car registration.
  • And best of all – Raiders fans could go to home games without having to get special permission to leave the State.

The only downside is that I’d be out of a job because Nevada’s employment laws actually make sense.  I guess I’d have to become an Eliteian.

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