Hell Bent

According to its website, Hell, Michigan is “surrounded by 400 acres of beautiful campgrounds, biking and hiking trails, a chain of lakes and channels, recreational areas for picnics, and so much more.” That’s not the description I heard growing up.  We once had a visit from some relatives from Hell (MI), they partied like they were from Hell (MI) and stayed too long.  My friend says his mother-in-law is from Hell (MI).  I’m glad mine is from Texas.  I’m thinking about buying a vacation home in Hell (MI).  It’s pretty easy to get to Hell (MI) on wheels – just take the highway to Hell (State 23) South to the main road to Hell (Pinckney) which I’ve heard is paved well.  The weather is mild – Bakersfield is much hotter than Hell (MI) and apparently Hell (MI) rarely freezes over.  Downtown Hell (MI) has a small wedding chapel where starry-eyed couples can legalize their match made in Hell (MI).  As soon as they have said their vows, the officiant rings Hell’s bells.  It’s charming.  The Chamber of Commerce should actually send me a referral fee for all the people I tell to go to Hell (MI). I’m a HUGE fan, but the thought of being buried there scares the Hell (MI) out of me.  When my great-grandchildren ask where I am, I want their parents to be able to say that I had a great time raising Hell (MI), then spent a short time in Purgatory, Maine, but ultimately ended up in Paradise, CA.