Hi Jean!

I once had a partner named Jean and every morning I would crack myself up by saying “Hi Jean.”  I found out the term for two words that (when said together) sound like a different word (e.g. hygiene) is called an oronym.  I might have mentioned I’m not a big fan of government agencies and their investigators (they’re bureaucratic bullies). So, when appropriate, I’ve tried to work oronyms into my communications with them as my own passive-aggressive “up yours.”  Some of my personal favorites:

  1. Expecting my client to simply rollover is a dumb assumption
  2. I’m not impressed with your field investigator, more on that below.
  3. I already explained the memo to your investigators re: tardies
  4. The employee did not get Valley Fever from my client’s office, he probably got it from the dairy air in his neighborhood.
  5. I didn’t get the name of the rude guy from your office who called me, it was something like Hugh Jassel.
  6. It was in the documents that I sent you, maybe you didn’t catch it.
  7. Your client is the biggest hurdle to settlement.
  8. You really think my client would refuse to hire the guy with the ulcer after it let the girl with colitis go by?