David Blaine’s Friday Musing…

You Can’t Make this Stuff Up!

Judge sides with parents, ruling that 30-year old son must move out! And I thought I was tough on my parents. Do you ever watch or read something and look around for the hidden camera because you know it has to be a joke? I give Millennials a hard time and my first thought was that if I was a Millennial, Michael Rotondo would motivate me to forge a new birth certificate to get myself into a different generational group. He is a shameless deadbeat – but is he a moron or an evil genius? Let’s analyze:

He’s An Evil Genius

Per my research, the bare minimum cost of living for a single person in New York is $40,000. By age 21 (most) kids have moved out of their parents’ home. This guy’s nine year holdover saved him approximately $360,000. If he had worked and deposited that into an IRA at 4.5% average return, at age 65 he would have $1,348,314 without making any additional contributions.
His 15 minutes of fame will last forever because every deadbeat kid from now on will use him as their defense (“I could be worse”)
His parents will probably end up paying for his apartment.
Kato Kaelin made a pretty good living doing basically the same thing.
He’ll probably be an SNL skit.
He gets credit for his own generational sub-category: the Michael Rotondialls

He’s A Moron

Everyone in American thinks he’s a moron.
During that nine-year period he did not appear to have worked or saved any money, negating his best “genius” argument.
No one in their right mind will ever hire him.
He isn’t going to inherit a dime.
His chances of getting a girlfriend, boyfriend, or gender-neutral significant other are lower than Harvey Weinstein’s.
If he’s an only child, his family’s DNA is a genetic cul-de-sac (which is actually a positive).

Did I mention that everyone in America thinks he’s a moron?

David D. Blaine, Esq.

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