Time to Evacuate

I don’t like how big storms are named.  “Edna Set to Arrive in Charleston on Saturday” sounds like a visit from a kindly old aunt. Old aunts can be scary, but storms are worse. They need to have names that encourage the public to take them seriously.  Maybe we should name them after dinosaurs – “T-Rex Expected to Wreak Havoc on Florida”, or “Velociraptor Runs Rampant on Atlantic Coast.”  If that doesn’t work, maybe famous bad guys:  “Public Urged to Evacuate Before Hannibal Lecter Comes to Town”, “Freddy Krueger Terrorizes the Keys,” or “Genghis Khan Pillages Southern States.”  Better yet, name them after horrible diseases:  “Black Plague Likely to Rain Down on North Carolina.”.  If I ever hear that “Cottonmouth Casualties in Bakersfield Expected To Be High”, I guarantee I’ll evacuate – or move to a different State.