David Blaine’s (unofficial) Rules of Employment Law
- All employees are happy.Until they aren’t.
- Employee who knows he’s getting fired on Friday gets hurt on Thursday.
- If you draft something and have your employees sign it, it’s probably illegal
- Most independent contractors aren’t.
- As Yoda would say, “a salary does not an exempt employee make.”Translated: paying a salary does not exempt an employee from overtime. There are other factors.
- Rehiring someone you previously fired is like eating sushi from the gas station food mart – you know it’s a bad idea and very soon you will really regret it!
- Never rely on phone advice from any government agency:It’s usually wrong and totally worthless unless it’s in writing.
- Federal and State investigators are usually bullies.
- It’s virtually impossible to test positive for marijuana from secondhand smoke. Similarly, no one sneaks around parties spiking strangers’ drinks with heroin.
- Documents are much better evidence than almost anything else
- Don’t use money as a discipline tool – it just makes employees mad. If someone won’t do their job, hire a new someone.
- Remember: the embezzler is always the person “who would never steal from you”
