David Blaine’s (unofficial) Rules of Employment Law

  1. All employees are happy.Until they aren’t.
  2. Employee who knows he’s getting fired on Friday gets hurt on Thursday.
  3. If you draft something and have your employees sign it, it’s probably illegal
  4. Most independent contractors aren’t.
  5. As Yoda would say, “a salary does not an exempt employee make.”Translated: paying a salary does not exempt an employee from overtime. There are other factors.
  6. Rehiring someone you previously fired is like eating sushi from the gas station food mart – you know it’s a bad idea and very soon you will really regret it!
  7. Never rely on phone advice from any government agency:It’s usually wrong and totally worthless unless it’s in writing.
  8. Federal and State investigators are usually bullies.
  9. It’s virtually impossible to test positive for marijuana from secondhand smoke. Similarly, no one sneaks around parties spiking strangers’ drinks with heroin.
  10. Documents are much better evidence than almost anything else
  11. Don’t use money as a discipline tool – it just makes employees mad. If someone won’t do their job, hire a new someone.
  12. Remember: the embezzler is always the person “who would never steal from you”