I Won the Lottery!

Well, not THE lottery, the Nigerian lottery. I got the email yesterday. I’m pretty lucky because I’ve actually won it twice and I’ve never even bought a ticket! Apparently I’m also the only heir of two different princes from countries I’ve never heard of – only $165 more in payments and the bank will release my millions. I get a lot of strange emails and calls. Once or twice a week I get a call from someone looking for a lawyer to sue their employer.  I don’t represent employees but sometimes I talk to them out of morbid curiosity.  I got a call yesterday that went like this:

Caller: I want to sue my employer for a hostile work environment!

Me: You have to work with wild animals?

Caller: No, my boss screams at me two or three times a week.

Me: Why?

Caller: Because I’m late. Can you help me?

Me (screaming): YES, GET TO WORK ON TIME!!!

He’ll probably sue me for being a hostile lawyer (which is somewhat redundant). But, I’m not worried – I’ll pay him off with my Nigerian lottery winnings.